Let me explain that I am the new wife. I met my husband through his ex-wife. She and I both worked at a library. She was hunting for someone to go out with him because she felt guilty that she had moved on (before the marriage was over, by the way), and he had not. Should I have gone out with him? A man who clearly had baggage if his wife was stepping out on him? Probably not. You have to understand that she whined and begged and hounded. "It's a free meal. What is the harm in just going out on one little date?"
I had been warned by others in the library about things she had said about him. He was not able to perform in the bedroom being one of them. That didn't bother me because I was only going out on one date, right?
Someday I'll tell the whole story. Needless to say, he was actually really nice. He actually doesn't have problems in the bedroom. She just told people that to try to validate why she cheated on him. But, hey, at least she loves her kids, right?
Well, I'm not sure sometimes. My husband and his ex-wife share custody of the kids: her son from a previous marriage and their son, who is profoundly disabled. He can't walk, talk, eat or drink by himself, etc. He is totally dependent upon people for everything.
My husband works in the military. He went away recently for two weeks to attend a class. I kept the kids during our week because I didn't want to make up the week later. The little boy, we'll call him Milo, was sick. He was coughing. I had picked him up from the bus on a Wednesday. His grandmother usually gets him in the afternoons (she has an aid that helps her with lifting), but the grandmother had just had an operation.
So, anyway, I got him. He was coughing terribly when I tried to feed him. His brother, a 17 year old who we will call Deadbeat Joe, was on the phone with his mom. I asked him to ask his mom if Milo had been coughing at her house. He had just gotten over a cold about a week ago. Well, he had. She said she hadn't given him anything (medicine wise), so if I thought he needed it, go ahead and give him some meds.
Fine. Day after day after day goes by. Little Milo was coughing up a lung every single time I tried to feed him. I even told the mom that maybe he did need to go to the doctor. She said okay. The next day, when I called with an update, she hadn't called the doctor. She has been home the entire time, I must tell you. She has a little girl (about 14 mos old) with her new husband. Since her mom can't watch the kids, she had to stay home. I can understand her not wanting to take Milo while she has a baby at home. But it gets worse.
The next day, little Milo has the worst coughing fit I've ever witnessed. I gave him one little spoonful of oatmeal and it triggered a body shaking cough that went on for over ten minutes. He had spit and various other liquids coming out of him. His eyes were runny and red. He was gasping for air. I was terrified! I thought the oatmeal had gone down the wrong tube. I was trying to give him the most pathetic Heimlich ever given. (Note to self: I need to take a class on basic life saving procedures.) Once he finally calmed down, I tried calling his mom. I tried the house phone; I tried the cell phone. I called my husband, who was in class, asking him to get hold of her if he could. Luckily, she finally called me back. I told her I was scared out of my mind. Milo was very ill. She had to call the doctor. She said, "Okay."
When she called back, she said they had two possible appointments: one in the morning and one in the afternoon. She couldn't take him to the 10:30 a.m. because she had to do something in the town (45 minutes away) where she works. She said she could take him to the afternoon appointment when she got back into our small town--around 2:30-3 p.m.
I said I'd drive him to the doctor's office. I was just too worried about him. I got directions. She dropped off a note saying I was Milo's step-mom. She was dressed up. I assumed she was going to work maybe. She said she had something to do.
Ends up Milo had strep throat. The doctor was going to brush it off as post nasal drip build up, but I kept pushing that he was so sick. She leafed through his case history and found he had had strep last summer--right after he went back to school. She gave him a test. Trying to get Milo to open his mouth when you are shoving things into it, is a test of courage. He chomps down.
And so I took him home. Dropped off his prescription at the drug store. Yes, I left him alone. What else could I do? His grandmother was at a doctor's appointment--I drove by her house when I got back into town, hoping she could watch him. Mom was out of town. He was safe in his bed, so I did what I had to do. Luckily, his grandmother called after she got back from her doctor's appointment. I told her what had happened. She offered to get the prescription for me. He had his first dosage of antibiotics before his mom ever even got back into town.
She never called me to find out what the verdict was. I ended up calling her back. Her reaction to his being sick with strep. "Oh. Well, I am sure the medicine will make him better." No concern in her voice. Nothing. I talked with my husband that night on the phone. I brought up that she had to work. He interrupted. "She told me she hasn't worked all week." I said that she told me she had something to do. She was dressed up. Looking back on it, did she choose not to take her extremely sick and disabled son to a doctor's appointment because she had some lunch date? Whatever it was, she claimed she hadn't worked all week, so whatever it was, it wasn't work related. Who does that?
I ended up offering to keep him another night. I told her it was because I understood that she was concerned that her daughter might come down with strep. I just thought he would be better off with me. She said it was okay and worked out because she (get this) had to drive her daughter to a doctor's appointment the next day. The daughter isn't sick, by the way, as far as I know. Everything the mom has said to me on the phone has led me to believe the little girl, we'll call her Savannah, is fine. So . . . Mom . . . what is up with that? You take your daughter to the doctor but your son, who is actually sick, you don't bother to even make an appointment until I call, practically hysterical. I'm not one to overreact to Milo's illnesses. He gets sick a lot. This was different. He was really sick. Having strep for over a week will do that to you.
And so you have my life. I feel frustrated because Milo is hard to take care of, due to his disabilities. I don't want to have him 24/7. It is just too hard. We wouldn't have a life. But then I think about his mother and think he might be better off with us. What can you do.
